1) Why do you do this? & 2) What got you to start?
When I was growing up I spent a lot of time with my grandma. She took me with her to visit people --- in hospitals and nursing homes. And, she took me to see 'shut ins'. We read the Bible to them, hugged them, ran errands for them, baked for them. Whatever they needed, we did, but mostly we let them know someone cared. Because of my grandma, I grew up believing that everyone has someone --- if not a big family like I have, then someone like my grandma. In the spring of 1989 I learned that wasn't true. I was visiting my dad in the hospital when I heard a woman screaming. I went to see what was wrong and found a lady who was close to 90. She was crying and she grabbed my arm and said, "I'm dying and I don't want to die alone. Please don't leave me." I stayed and she told me her whole life story. She had been a college graduate and a librarian for 50 years. She had children and grandchildren, but no one was coming to see her anymore. She thought that meant she was dying. If she were going to live, people would still be coming to see her. I went and got my Bible and read to her. I brought her a stuffed animal and flowers. Mostly, I listened and she decided I wouldn't be doing all that if she were dying. She got well and went home. One of the nurses said, "you didn't know the lady you have been visiting. There is another lady here who is all alone. Would you visit her?" I did and the same thing happened. I was told about another elderly lady who was alone and asked to visit her and this lady got well and went home also. I started looking for an organization I could bring to town that would take care of people who, for whatever reason, were without family. When I couldn't find anything, I started Friends for Life.

3) Would you share a few stories, such as the little old lady who lived in the dark because she couldn't change a light bulb (and what you did about it).
We found one lady living in the dark. She had moved from room to room as the light bulbs burned out in her house. When the last one burned out, she was in the dark. We started a light bulb changing program.

I sat down beside her on concrete steps. She had ants crawling all over her. She had pulled all of her hair out and she was crying. She couldn't remember when she had eaten last or when she had last taken her medicine. She just kept saying, "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do." She was an elderly widow with one relative - a son who was blind and lived in another state. We became her guardian and found her a safe place to live and people to take care of her, and we got her a wig.

He called me to tell me that tomorrow was his birthday. I asked him what he was going to get for his birthday and he said, "Nothing. I never get nothing for my birthday." I asked him what he'd want if he were going to get something for his birthday. He said, "Salmon croquettes and 100 piece puzzles. Do you have any salmon croquettes?" "No, but I bet I can find someone to make you some." The next morning a volunteer arrived to wish him a Happy Birthday and to deliver salmon croquettes and two large bags of 100 piece puzzles. Within 30 minutes, he called to say, "I ate all my salmon croquettes and worked all my puzzles!"

We were asked to be legal guardian of a young man who had intellectual disabilities. His family had locked him out of his house and for years he wandered the streets of the small Texas town trying to find food. No one would get close to him because of the smell. When we became his guardian, we discovered that he loved horses so we introduced him to a family that had horses. He was able to work with the horses and when the family invited him to go to his first rodeo, he asked his FFL Care Manager to go with him. She did and at the end of the day, he took her hand and said, 'this is the best day of my life'. He now rides in rodeos and he has lots of friends.

I have met so many people who have changed my life - people I will never forget - like the elderly veteran whose family locked him in a shed behind his house while they collected his check every month. He might have lived the rest of his life in that shed had one of the family members not gotten angry at him and split his head open with a hoe. They took him to the emergency room because they couldn't figure out how to continue to collect his check if he died. We became his guardian and his only request of us was that he not be forced to see those family members again.

I got a call one day from a lady who was in her late sixties. She was whispering, 'please come get me'. The local head of Adult Protective Services was in my office when she called. We picked her up and when we had driven a few blocks away, she said, "they're hurting me" and she showed us her bruises. She never went back. She called me a few days later to tell me all about her new home. She said, "They have an exercise room. Have you ever heard of a treadmill?" It was the beginning of a new and special time in her life where people care about her and no one hurt her.

I walked through our adult day care center and overhead two elderly ladies talking. One said, "My son did the nicest thing for me." The other said, "What's that?" The first one said, "He brought me here."

4) What discourages you, and how do you overcome it? (One person telling you the elderly aren't enough of a problem to society to deserve funding vs. the cards and letters and prayers of gratitude you receive)
It is discouraging when the funding either doesn't come on time or it doesn't come at all. And, it is particularly disheartening when a funder tells you that 'the elderly aren't enough of a burden on society to be a funding priority'. How awesome it would be if it didn't take money to do this work and we could just help people without having to also find the funding. But, we reach out as far as possible to help hurting people and my encouragement comes from our clients. I had one precious elderly widow take a cab to my office to tell me she prays every day for me and for this work. I get cards and calls and occasionally visits from others who tell me how much it means to them to know that someone cares. They tell me that they pray for us and that they don't know what they would do without us. Knowing how many people count on us gives us the strength to keep going….no matter how hard it gets. They are worth it.

5) How many people do you now have involved at Friends for Life?
We have 52 employees and last year 3,456 people volunteered 31,256 (recorded) hours to help our elderly and people with disabilities: Over 520 people are helped in our guardianship program Just over 100 people are enrolled in our adult day care program (nursing care, activities, & meals) Over 900 people are helped each year through money management programs that include bill paying, budgeting, advocacy, intervention with creditors, assistance with Medicare Part B, information about and connection with resources Over 2,000 helped through independent living and quality of life programs

6) What can the reader do to help someone else?
There is an organization called the National Volunteer Caregiver Network. They have a website: www.nvcnetwork.org and it lists programs in other parts of the country that provide similar services to the elderly. If there is no program in their area, they can call a long term care facility in their area to ask if there is anyone there who has no family to visit them. A weekly visit could make a huge difference in that person's life. (I am going to attach a copy of a poem I wrote about this.)

7) How do you fund Friends for Life?
We receive program revenue or fees for services that cover about 75% of the expenses for providing our services. The other 25% comes from individuals, foundations, civic organizations, churches and businesses who decide they want to help us serve people in need. Basically, hearts are touched and people help us help.

8) Future plans of Friends for Life?
We have been going through a process of looking at everything we do at Friends for Life to see what is working and what is not working to make sure everything works as it should. Once we complete this process and raise the money we need to raise, we can reach out to unserved communities and provide our services to the elderly and people with disabilities who are in need. Our experiences over the years helped us develop an inexpensive but effective way to provide much needed independent living services (transportation, grocery shopping, errands, yard work, etc.) to fragile people in rural communities. Also, our Adult Day Center is reaching capacity and we would like to be able to expand it to meet the need (which is growing). This facility would be large enough for us to provide special programming for seniors (particularly those with Alzheimer's or other dementia) and our adults with disabilities. Our Intergenerational Center would include a child care program and space that encourages opportunities for older adults and children to learn from one another and love each other. Our intergenerational plans include a Toy Factory which is a place older adults come and teach children how to make things and the things they make are given to our seniors through our Gifts for Grannies and Grandpas, too Program or sent to homes for children. Thank you, Dick. Please let me know if you need anything else.

Thank you Inez. You and your team make an incredible difference in this world, with the blessings you instill each day by your actions.

Dick